First there was this.
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work
But as I was watching Synecdoche, N.Y. with my wife last night, I came to the conclusion that the reality of the situation is not as funny.
(The film is as enjoyable as a visit to Michael Vicks’ compound in 2007, by the way, and NYU Film School wants Andy Inbred’s Senior Thesis returned to library, pleasemrkaufman.)
Why? Because we watch our BluRay’s on my freaking hard as hell to turn-on PS3. (Who put the power switch ON THE BACK OF THE UNIT!)
And as a result, we have to use this:
PS3 Remote
Easily the most retarded remote ever made, and I designed remotes for a big-ass cable company.
Where to begin?
- Like most people, we watch movies IN THE DARK. So a goddamn all-black remote is as useful as a bikini on the Gaza Strip. You can’t see a thing!
- The pause button is below the stop button which is below the play button, ohandbytheway, they all have the same shape. Which means, that this sequence happened three times in this movie: I wanted to pause the movie. I accidentally stopped the movie because I couldn’t see the button. WE HAD TO RESTART THE MOVIE AND GO THROUGH ALL OF THE ANTI-THEFT NONSENSE THREE TIMES. And, joy of joys, the movie doesn’t pick up where you left off, but you get to scan again back through the movie, just so you can make the same mistake again (actually happened.) It took two hours to watch the first hour of the film, which, as I mentioned, doesn’t make sense on pretty much any level unless you are a victim of devolution and you were experimented upon by aliens (who replaced key body parts with their janky-ass technology, thus forcing you to live in cities.)
- How do you see the remaining time in the movie? Anyone? Oh yes, that would be the “Display” button, which is as intuitive as soccer not allowing you to touch the ball with your hands unless you are the goalie. Really? Really.
- The red circle button has no label and serves no purpose. The entire remote should just be the red circle button.
</rant>